As summer begins to wind down I find myself reminiscing in the sun of all the fun. Here are a few tunes that put my soul in the smack middle of the heat.
What songs have you been listening to this summer?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
To all the love's I've yet to meet:
"A pain stabbed my heart, as it did every time I saw a girl I loved who was going the opposite direction in this too-big world." — Jack Kerouac (On the Road)
I'm in love with all of them. The way they smell, the way they talk, the way they feel. They've all been my greatest love affair and they haunt me forever. One night, one year, a passing glance, doesn't matter. It's about living in the moment of joy and love with complete surrender. Knowing perfectly well that forever is not always an option or even a thought.
"Life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone." — Jack Kerouac (Kerouac: Selected Letters: Volume 1 1940-1956)
I long to know their secrets and bury my face in their skin. Every time, when all said and done, the scent lingers. The memory remains. I am eternally gilded by their caress though sometimes the tarnish does begin to show. A little polish a little self love and more determination to love again to not bruise or break in the aftermath.
It's all a part of the adventure, giving in to divine intuition, inertia, energies colliding. Sometimes the force is too powerful to pull away from while other times it's just a light tug at boredom. There is no room for regret in great love affairs as they are what they are and end in graves. But to keep dreaming of the next embrace is all I need to remember the capacity to love is ever growing.
I'm in love with all of them. The way they smell, the way they talk, the way they feel. They've all been my greatest love affair and they haunt me forever. One night, one year, a passing glance, doesn't matter. It's about living in the moment of joy and love with complete surrender. Knowing perfectly well that forever is not always an option or even a thought.
"Life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone." — Jack Kerouac (Kerouac: Selected Letters: Volume 1 1940-1956)
I long to know their secrets and bury my face in their skin. Every time, when all said and done, the scent lingers. The memory remains. I am eternally gilded by their caress though sometimes the tarnish does begin to show. A little polish a little self love and more determination to love again to not bruise or break in the aftermath.
It's all a part of the adventure, giving in to divine intuition, inertia, energies colliding. Sometimes the force is too powerful to pull away from while other times it's just a light tug at boredom. There is no room for regret in great love affairs as they are what they are and end in graves. But to keep dreaming of the next embrace is all I need to remember the capacity to love is ever growing.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Life in moderation...
I'm not very good at keeping up with this whole blog thing. There aren't any rules or standards I'm holding myself to though...just thought it would be an interesting way to document life's random oddities and every day miracles. I'm noticing a reoccuring theme recently in myself and my general lack of commitment to most things. Yes, I show up to work, do a good job, pay my bills on time for the most part, feed the dog, jog more than occassionally, but I don't want to commit myself to people, projects, or any other time and energy consuming task. I just want to do the bare minimum and be ok. Not that I'm saying I want to be lazy and not care about anything...not at all! I've made a conscious choice to be simpler. It's not easy. We're supposed to be involved and connected in every way possible to everyone we could possibly know. That's fine sometimes, when you're open to it and available for those demands. Right now I'm not available. I'm offline. Mentally that is.
The last year and a half has been tough. Fights, yelling, miscarriage, separation, divorce, change after change blow after blow. My boat has been knocked way off course and now that I'm floating out in the middle of the ocean with every possibility in the world surrounding me...where do I go? Which way is best? I could just choose quickly and dart off in that direction without any abandon, but I've done that before and it was sorely disappointing. I was younger and braver then, but the consequences still burn. So I sit. I ponder. I question everything. I step back and wait. Floating. I choose to not make a choice. Not right now.
For the time being I'm taking life in moderation. Small doses of reality are enough thank you. When it all seems too tough or incomprehensible I call my girlfriends, go out for drinks, buy shoes and most importantly don't forget to breathe.
The last year and a half has been tough. Fights, yelling, miscarriage, separation, divorce, change after change blow after blow. My boat has been knocked way off course and now that I'm floating out in the middle of the ocean with every possibility in the world surrounding me...where do I go? Which way is best? I could just choose quickly and dart off in that direction without any abandon, but I've done that before and it was sorely disappointing. I was younger and braver then, but the consequences still burn. So I sit. I ponder. I question everything. I step back and wait. Floating. I choose to not make a choice. Not right now.
For the time being I'm taking life in moderation. Small doses of reality are enough thank you. When it all seems too tough or incomprehensible I call my girlfriends, go out for drinks, buy shoes and most importantly don't forget to breathe.
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